I will forever be the little girl captivated by the timeless story of a valiant knight fighting to win the heart of a maiden, and in love with a forgotten world of valour where a spoken promise was as good as a contract written in blood. A world of grand castles and secret gardens, throne rooms and boudoirs, swords and chalices. From King Arthur & Excalibur to the Knights Templar, and even to King Henry VIII… I have an endless fascination with all things Medieval. 

Sadly, we live in the “real world” of work deadlines, stress, bills and the modernism of 21st century daily life… where gallantry, graciousness and nobleness are deemed mostly unnecessary (how awful). 

(I pause here to tell you a little bit about my own knight in shining armour) 

Ours is a true story of romance and chivalry… my husband and I found each other late in life. When we were dating / courting, we would email and message each other with Medieval language, phrases and veiled meaning. Our clandestine communication enabled us to time-travel back to a splendid world of courtliness, where every word carried distinction and every delicate nuance was savoured. I was a ‘captivating Lady’, and he was the pursuer of my heart’s essence. My ‘Sir Lancelot’ enrolled us for ballroom dance lessons in those very early days because ‘dance is the hidden language of the soul’ and what better way to get to know one another? He is not only a chivalrous modern-day knight by all Medieval standards, but a master modelmaker too. My husband spent his working life as a ‘shattered accountant’ (as he likes to call himself), but thank goodness he’s had his creative vent on the side! For the past 41 years, he’s been creating 1:12 scale models of horse-drawn vehicles, each one a masterpiece miniature of those bygone beauties. He bestows to his artistry the same order and passion that he holds for life. For the past 6.5 years of marriage I’ve had the privilege of sitting in his shadow and watching his amazing work. I never imagined however, that someday I too, could / would be part of that ‘tiny’ world… 

(…unpause, and back to me…) 

After 36 years in Financial Administration (another term for ‘jail time’) my creative soul had been ignored and discarded. Earning a living in the corporate world had forced my creativity into an abandoned dungeon, as it wretchedly beat against the bars. I had made several attempts to leave the corporate environment and enter a more creative field, but unfortunately commitments always bid louder. Isn’t it dreadful how creative dreams are almost always abandoned in order to ‘make a living’? The administrative field was soul-destroying… something I always referred to as “rats on a wheel living life in 30-day cycles”. The joy of life got sucked out by the dull, monotonous routine. Decades of prolonged avoidance, coupled with many years of caring for my precious mom during her agonizing final years of failing health, resulted in my complete shut down and burnout. I was 54 years old, my emotional strength was depleted, and I was staring at another 6 years till retirement. There was desolation inside me… my ravaged, wrecked heart was like a charred field after a devastating fire. I shut myself within myself, in pain and silence… 

When you’re lost in the desert (or forest), alone and without direction, your wounded heart is set on autopilot. There is no fervour or zeal… only apathy, indifference. The spark of passion is absent. Creative expression is what provides the spark of hope… it generates life, and it heals. The creative desires we had as children have never left us… they are still within us. We only have to be courageous enough to find them, explore them, and give them an avenue of expression. It is, after all, how even the Great Creator himself fashioned us! We are all creative beings… every one of us has been born with that power to create (construct, invent, inspire, imagine, envision) whether we are ‘arty’ or not! And this precious gift sustains, empowers and rejuvenates our spirit man!  If ‘he’ is not fed and watered, we are not living life ‘fully alive’… 

In the seclusion and solitude of a surreal 10-week Covid-19 lockdown, my exhausted mind was able to be quiet and receptive… ready to look at things differently. My husband and I were clearing out old DVD’s, when we decided to watch an old one about the world of 1:12 scale. I was captivated as I saw all kinds of tiny masterpieces… I was fervent with excitement as I consumed each tasty visual morsel. It was as if I’d been awakened from tormented sleep with a warm loving embrace, and an outstretched hand of hope. As I watched, memories of a forgotten childhood wonderland (small, secretive and fantastical like Alice and Gulliver’s worlds) came flooding back. My mind was spinning… here was a way for me to step inside the magic! A way to create, visit and live inside my beloved medieval world whenever I wanted to, and be free to create my own adventures! Why had I never ‘seen’ it before?? 

(I had always watched my husband create miniatures, but they were scratch-built as exact replicas of the originals. I could not engineer parts from steel, wood, brass etc with a lathe / milling machine / solder, so I had never imagined that there could be other ways to craft miniature magic…!) 

All I can say about that morning in April 2020 is that I fell in love again. That crucial spark of creative passion that had sadly been missing for so long, was inexplicably re-ignited… 

In the ensuing days, I wasn’t able to shake the persistent excitement or forget that powerful feeling of joy and hope. Of course, (as expected) my ‘sensible’ mind raised every feeling of fear, panic and insecurity… and kept reminding me that “you can’t possibly do this… you aren’t qualified / experienced / artistic / steady-handed / financially independent… blah, blah, blah”! I experienced crippling doubt and every possible (negative) emotion for countless weeks afterwards. Nonetheless… the new, quiet sense of mission inside me was constant and unshakeable. Furthermore, the more I researched, the more I discovered how wonderful and universal ‘miniature addiction’ is! 

I knew that I stood at a crucial crossroads in my life… I could continue to walk around in the desert, or choose to no longer ignore the anguish and desolation of my creative being. I was determined to bring creativity into my daily world. I kept thinking that nothing could be worse than being trapped inside a corporate office for yet another six years! It seemed surreal… could I leave the gloomy admin world and create a life doing something I loved? I tried to not let the ‘impossibility of it all’ overwhelm me. My new hope steadily willed me to transform my thinking into “I CAN, and I WILL”, and I simply refused negativity. As I continued to learn and research, I applied that dogged ‘can-do’ persistence and patience that has faithfully seen me through to the finish line of many ultra-marathon road races. Confidence multiplied as I also discovered how many beautiful, friendly people are willing to help and guide others online, offering a warm welcome into the world of creativity. 

I had put off the importance of my own happiness for my entire lifetime, BUT… no longer! Two months later, I resigned from my office job. That was very significant for me – a turning point that changed everything. I was stepping from the dungeon into the light – a huge milestone for which I am incredibly grateful to my Eternal Father. I am now passionately embracing my walk to freedom… zeal and joy of life have steadily returned. Out of the bizarre seclusion of a 2020 world-wide lockdown, Lady Miniac’s Medieval World was born. I am now the Medieval maiden (Lady) in my adored love story, and I escape to my secret world as often as I need to. I am finding immense fulfilment in imagining and creating tiny Medieval treasures (Miniac) from so many centuries ago… 

It matters not if your dungeon has held you trapped for a lifetime. Be not afraid if you’re still on the other side of the Rubicon. Find that eternal courage buried deep inside yourself! If this girl can be brave enough to cross, so can you… 

It is never too late to be happy… never too late to start creating something you love. Our consciousness expresses itself through creation. Listen to the soft, smothered call of your childhood dreams. Make a way for them, so that they can help you heal. Enable those dreams to recreate your heart-song and desire. 

I hope my journey helps you to find your way too… 

Irene x